While one's immediate friend is 'oneself', one's best friend is always the Dharma,
which leads to freedom from one's 'self'. - stonepeace
There is a paradox about friendship. While we revel in many similarities found between good friends, if there is nothing but similarities, the friendship would be lifeless. What would be the point of being with someone who is exactly like you? Wouldn't it be like hanging out with your cloned mirror image? Is it narcissistic too? What can we learn from one who is always agreeable with us because he or she thinks just like us? As such, we should also cherish the differences found between friends, for it is the differences that makes friendship with the less familiar stimulating. In fact, learning from these differences and making peace with them helps both parties to grow. It's like the mutual-polishing away of each other's rough edges!
Though a spiritual friend to all he came across, even the Buddha was not always agreeable to some he befriended. This however, doesn't mean there is anything wrong with the Budddha, since he personifies the best of friends, suffused with perfect compassion and wisdom for all - whether his friendliness is reciprocated or not. Those who missed the golden karmic opportunity to befriend the Buddha simply didn't know what they missed! If you are truly mindful of the Buddha's teachings, there should be aspects of his teachings not immediately agreeable to you too. If not, we would all be perfectly "synchronised" Buddhas already! These "differences" challenge us to get further in sync with our Buddha-nature.
However, to seek only differences would be lopsided and potentially conflicting. We need a Middle Path of friendship - for focusing on neither similarities nor differences in excess. For instance, when the Buddha befriends someone, he seldom points out that person's misgivings all at once. Instead, he connects through the familiar (or similar) first, before sharing the Dharma. Skilful means at work! The Buddha advised, "Should a seeker not find a companion who is one's better or equal, let one resolutely pursue a solitary course; there is no fellowship with a fool." Of course, if we are sufficiently wise, we should spiritually befriend fools too. If we are not wise enough yet, it is wisest to hang with the wise! - Shen Shi'an
Your best friend is the one who urges you to be the best friend to all. - stonepeace
Credits: TheDailyEnlightenment.com Weekly 18.09.08
